Honey, YouTubers Are Poisoning The Kids

Image: Badly edited by author

My nieces, who range in age between 4 and 11, act as a gateway for me to understand what “the kids are into” these days. But they also show me in real time just how much the Internet is influencing their daily lives. 

I remember when PRIME juice first came out. They were going fucking gaga over it. I asked them how they even knew about it, and of course, they had seen it on YouTube. Anytime they went by a shop window and saw the bottles with the ‘very obviously brightly colored packaging because it appeals to kids’ branding, they’d press their face up to the glass and say crazy things like “Omg, that’s the super rare flavor!” (a flavor that was in every other shop), and would demand to spend their own pocket money to buy one. It was one of the first holy shit moments I had of seeing how putting the Internet in the hands of the young was influencing them in ways they clearly didn’t understand. 

One of the biggest culprits — but by far not the only one — is Mr Beast. 

He might be the biggest YouTuber with over 316 million subscribers, but his channel is predatory, pure and simple. 

I’ve always had a hump with him. Perhaps the first-ever “I gave $5,000 to a homeless person” was genuine. It was at least novel. But the moment he realized this generosity could be manufactured to drive engagement, the game was up. From there, “inauthentic authenticity” became his brand. His content was micro-optimized, relentlessly tweaked, endlessly analyzed and overly manufactured to bleed the algorithm dry, all to draw in the eyes of blissfully ignorant kids who think he’s a cool guy who does this stuff just for laughs, and not, you know, to make himself filthy rich and masturbate his ego. And don’t get me started on those freakish thumbnails — you know the ones, the creepy smile and the deadpan eyes — that have now become synonymous with the platform as everyone else tried to copy the formula. 

It’s been wildly effective, allowing him to launch chocolate bars (that he convinces his fans to stock check and tidy up for him for free), shitty burger ghost kitchens and more. 

It’s also pretty gross. 

In some better news, his empire built on the eyeballs of 8-12 year olds is showing signs of cracks. Co-host Ava Kris Tyson quit amid allegations of grooming. There have been allegations of workplace harassment, illegal lotteries and exploitation. A former employee dropped a huge video claiming the entire brand is a fraud. There is the god-awful ‘How to work for Mr Beast’ leaked document, which is somehow being heralded as groundbreaking stuff (it contains the line "No doesn't mean no.") And now, his show with Amazon — the one thing that was going to help him make steps towards moving away from his dependancy on YouTube — is already being sued for a failure to prevent sexual harassment, a failure to pay overtime and minimum wage, and failing to provide participants with meals and rest breaks.

But hey, he gives people free money now and then (if they are happy being buried alive for a week or something.)

I guess he senses the writing is on the wall or, at the very least, that his runway has shortened significantly, especially if the Amazon show is already in trouble. 

That might be why he’s continuing to cash in while he can with his latest creation, Lunchly.

The product is like Lunchables but contains items created by Mr Beast (and fellow YouTubers KSI and Logan Paul). It’s an almost zero health value meal of a sugary electrolyte drink (with a healthy dose of lead), a chocolate bar and some small cracker snack. Exactly the sort of shit kids will see in shop windows and lose their minds over. I can already hear the words “oh it’s the ultra rare pizza version” being uttered by one of my nieces. The worst thing about it is it’s being promoted as a healthier choice. MrBeast said the goal is to "disrupt the lunch market for kids with healthier, better-tasting options." Let’s be clear here: a healthier alternative to Lunchables — a product that also may contain high levels of heavy metals — is like saying you made an organic cigarette. It’s worth noting here that this was also the case with Feastables, which were first promoted as a healthier alternative, then quietly had its recipe changed so it, well, was not very healthy.

This latest product launch is desperate and another grim step in the slow demise of YouTube’s biggest star. 

Maybe it’s about time. The whole “my target audience is children” is grim. Those videos of adults playing with dolls and figurines. Videos of adults unboxing kids' toys. Disney park “influencers.” It may all seem innocent on the surface, but never forget the endgame is to monetize the attention of young, innocent eyeballs. They’re kids! They don’t have the faintest idea about the power of marketing and branding. They are the most susceptible, easy-to-influence minds, and here we have guys who are already worth millions and can’t help themselves but dip in for some more. 

There’s a reason certain advertising gets pulled from TV hours that kids are most likely watching. There’s a reason junk-food advertising is about to be banned before watershed (9 PM) in the UK. It’s because it’s not fair to advertise to a market that isn’t old enough to make their own decisions and can’t understand the difference between choice and influence. 

But on YouTube and social media, they have free rein. These schmucks can skip out the middleman altogether and take those adverts direct to the source. Perhaps platforms can step up to control what adverts children see. Sigh. Who are we kidding? YouTube is more than happy to serve them up and has already been fined for tracking and targeting children with personalized ads. The sad reality is that the whole system is set up to brainwash vulnerable minds at as young an age as possible — another consequence of technology entering their lives far too early. 

I wish content creators would take a long, hard look at themselves, especially those who are idolized by younger audiences. That is a very powerful platform and could be put to a lot of great use. Think of the good they could do: education, awareness and opportunities. Instead, we’ve got grown adults flogging shitty food products to children. 

As another successful YouTuber, DANTDM, puts it, 

“This is selling stuff for the sake of making money, simple. How does this benefit their fans? This is selling crap to kids who don't know better than to trust the people who are selling it to them. Do better.”